In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize