He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
