dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
