yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
