the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The Olympian is in my bed
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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