After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
