I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
