I cannot find my penis.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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