Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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