i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we made out on top of his cat.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
