Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize