ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
its liver damage thursday
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
