call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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