IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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