You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
