and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
