I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
