i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
