Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
