He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize