Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
