Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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