yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
