She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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