just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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