I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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