Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
