Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
