Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize