WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
