that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
