If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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