you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
