I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize