CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We need a shit load of segways right now
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
