I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
