It's Friday. Sex?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
