16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
