Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i now understand why vodka
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
