I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
