when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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