Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
