and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
