Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think I sprained my soul last night
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
