You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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