We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
