so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize