Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Holy shit dude........stairs
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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