Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
