Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
