can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
