I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
