That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
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And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
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If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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