The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
