Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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