I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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