last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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