I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
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I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
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And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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